Before my girls were born I used to think things would be easy. Well not simple-easy, but not particularly hard. TV made it look effortless, at least the shows I was watching did. Here I am though, four years into this bizarre experiment and I still haven’t found my feet.

Amid the constant mistakes and criticism—sometimes even from my four year old—one thing that I have learned is, despite being tired to the point of exhaustion and having no time, if you keep putting off your career you’ll never get back to it. I’ve also learned that two kids is a hell of a lot harder than just having one, especially when that one was an easy baby, but that’s a whole other story.

So here I am, back on the career path, but a different one than before. One that I’ve always imagined myself doing but was never game enough to try—maybe that was simply because I didn’t know where to start? My new career, that brings me to my point, more or less.

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be setting off on my new career path and you guys will be coming along with me. You see my new career path is that of a writer, like I said before, this is something I’ve aspired to since I was a child sitting in my bedroom bashing away on my prize possession, a beige and red child size typewriter, creating stories about giants which I’d self publish with the stapler I’d promised to be trustworthy with. Alas, then there was the unfortunate incident when, somehow, a staple become lodged in my thumb, but we don’t talk about that.

All that’s history now, and here I sit before a laptop rather than a typewriter writing for a big Australian parenting website. How cool is that?

Just so you know what you’re getting yourself into here’s a bit about me.

Before my girls were born I worked as a freelance web designer which was something I enjoyed in the beginning but found it had run its course. I still do the occasional job on the side of parenting two gorgeous girls, Erin who is 4 years old and Abi who’s nearly a year old. My main claim to infamy is my personal blog Bad Mummy which I have been tending to for almost four years. I’m “big on Twitter” and some of you might know me as @badmummy but if you don’t know me never fear you will soon—assuming you hang around.

I’m really looking forward to getting to know you guys so drop by and say hi!

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“The Dirty Dozen”

Each year we have new resolutions and goals set to achieve.  Last year at the top of my list was to actively and work on systematically reducing the amount of chemicals my family was exposed to.  Right down to conning the children to change their favourite products over to chemical and flavour free.  Now I am not saying I achieved a 100% strike rate but I would say a good solid 95%.  This I can live with, as my reading on the subject has suggested that we are now exposed to in access of 200 different chemicals in the home every day, as a minimum.

The connection between exposure of these chemicals to food allergies and various associated symptoms is also extremely interesting.  My own experience has shown that by reducing my exposure to chemicals along with avoiding the various food ingredients I know cause me “grief”, some of my irritating complaints have definitely reduced and in some cases disappeared ie: rashes on my fingers under my rings”.

Many people do not realise that your body’s largest organ is your skin.  Commercial products that contain any of the “dirty dozen” can be absorbed directly into the blood stream causing various nasty reactions.

So the top 12 ingredients I want to share with you to watch out for in your ingredients list of your personal care products are:

1. Propylene Glycol (PG)/Butylene Glycol
2. Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS)/ Sodium Laureth Sulfate(SLES)
3. DEA (diethanolamine)/ MEA (Monoethanolaniine) TEA (triethanolamine)
4. Sodium Hydroxide
5. Triclosan
6. DMDM & Urea (Imidazolidinyl)
7. Liutane or Propane
8. Alcohol, Isopropyl (SD-40)
9. Mineral Oil
10. FD & C Colour Pigments
11. Fragrances
12. Polyethylene Glycol (PEG)

    So in 2010, I discovered the important link between food allergies and the effects of continuous daily exposure of chemicals. It is terribly important to reduce the exposure of chemicals both in the home and the personal care products we use on our skin daily to initiate supporting our good health and assisting our bodies to heal and become less sensitive to various foods and our environment.

So if you are searching for products that are free of the “dirty dozen” please go to the “Food for the Skin” pantry of What Can I Eat or contact Kylie for product recommendations to achieve a Healthy Home.

Kylie Hollonds is the creator and director of WhatCanIEat.com.au, Australia’s first and leading directory, providing solutions for those who are looking for products that support multiple dietary restrictions.  Having lived with allergies in her family for many years, she developed a product range of her own at www.wheatfree.com.au as well as supporting families with allergy testing through www.allergyfreemybody.com.
She strives to share her knowledge and experience to make others lives “Brighter” and use her passion of food and products that support this journey to build What Can I Eat into Australia’s leading directory to “Partner people to products and products to people.”

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Have you ever spent time with someone and thought any of the following:

1. They’re not even listening to me?
2. They think my idea is crazy, that I’m crazy and that I can’t accomplish anything!
3. I have a feeling I shouldn’t have told this person so much – they’re going to steal my idea!
4. I’m sitting in a room full of people and I feel lonely!
5. I don’t belong here – we’re too different!
6. I feel exhausted, drained, this conversation has really taken it out of me!

Those are the times you need to think about where you are, why you’re there and if you ever want to feel like that again…

It is true that nobody can ‘make us’ feel a certain way – we can choose not to feel negative, disconcerted, or put out. We can choose not to be effected by someone’s mood or attitude, but in saying that… we can also choose who we spend time with.  If you notice that someone is a drain on your emotions, your time, your money, your efforts, or abilities, or that you just don’t feel good around them, it’s time to think about why!  Why is this person not good for me?

Is it because you are not being listened to and supported, is it because you don’t entirely trust them, or is it because you notice that no matter what you say, positive or otherwise, they counteract it with a negative?  Is it because every single time you have something good to report they tell you ‘not to count your chickens…’ or they make a feeble, thin or veiled remark about the failure of the project or idea.  It could be because nothing you ever do, or say, seems good enough and they always have a reason why it can’t possibly work, or why it’s not a good idea.

There is a saying that goes something like this ‘Those can’t shouldn’t interrupt those who are.’  If you’re already achieving something, or setting out to, who are ‘they’ to say it can’t be done?  Who are these people, the dream stealers?

Often the people in your life who murder and assassinate your dreams are the very ones who are scared of your success! Or indeed anyone’s success for that matter.  They are insecure straw men, some are easily knocked down when challenged… and refuted!  And yet some are staunch and will not be swayed.  It’s their way or the doorway!  Some will argue with you til hell freezes and it’s a complete waste of energy for all concerned.  If you walk away from a conversation feeling like someone just whacked an IV in your arm and sucked out all of the energy, or that you just experienced the biggest head-game you’ve ever encountered, being talked in circles etc, it really is wise to run!  And I mean… don’t walk… RUN!

Not only are these kinds of people a drain on your energy, they are robbing you of the time you could be putting into your new project.  Unless someone is helping you, either by listening, encouraging, or offering solid ideas with potential, you are wasting precious minutes on them and them alone.  You have to ask yourself, is this person worth my time?  Regardless of whether it’s a friend, family member or colleague, you have to realise that negative energy burns up seconds faster than anything.  And what do you walk away with?  There’s a whole list of things you’ll get from conversations like that – a headache, a pain in the neck (literally) as everything tenses up, a depressed or negative attitude, worry (that you actually won’t succeed) and concern that your idea really is that crazy, and you’ll have wasted more air time focusing on the ‘why’ instead of the ‘why not!’

Anyone who ever conceived an idea, anyone who was innovative in anyway, anyone who cracked the market before someone else, had to think ‘will this work?’ …  ‘will people buy my idea’ … ‘am I wasting my time/money/energy…’

Self-doubt is a human emotion we all experience, and we can certainly experience it without the help of others!

So what is a dream-stealers motivation for destroying your good works?  Is there a hidden agenda?  Are they being impartial?  No, because being impartial gives you both sides of the coin to work with! If their take on your dreams is negative, ask yourself one solid question ‘Why?’ and then ask yourself this…. ‘Is their opinion really worthwhile?’  You need to dissect how successful the person is, and yet, even with a measure of their own success, you cannot use them as your yardstick to measure yourself by!

So… are they looking out for you?  Or is there more to it?  Imagine for a moment that your success means leaving them behind – and I mean, really behind.  Not just financially or via a new status symbol (better house, better car, more freedom etc).  What if your success means you are no longer dependant on them?  What if they feed off that?  What if your lack of success or your reticence to act means they can keep you in a box, and still maintain control!  What if your success means relocation – are they scared of losing you (physically and emotionally!) What if you never come back?  Could it be that talking the talk and walking the walk is something they are too afraid to do, and your strength makes them look weak and insignificant, or makes them feel insecure?  What if your success means you outgrow them?  Then you already have!

When we involve ourselves with positive and uplifting people who want to see us reach our goals, we are on the right path!  The minute someone sets out to disrupt that path, and we let them, we are lost! Being accountable for how we act and react is the most important part of our truth … and our journey!

Would you take a trip with someone who drove you mad? Would you spend months on end, travelling with a person who talked incessantly and didn’t let you get a word in edge-wise? Would you travel with someone who barely spoke and getting information from them was like pulling teeth without anaesthetic? Would you travel with someone selfish? –  Someone who ate all the food, wouldn’t spend their money, refused to share even a packet of gum, or someone who took you for granted?  I’m pretty sure most of us wouldn’t take a trip like that… yet in our life’s journey we tolerate selfishness, negativity, abuse, lack of support and disappointment all of the time; when really, we don’t need to!  Not that disappointment isn’t part of life, it is; and not that we shouldn’t learn tolerance and love for differences in others, and of course we need to learn from experience to take the good with the bad – life is journey not a destination – and we need all facets to learn, grow and understand. That said, though, there comes a day when we have experienced enough from a particular person, or group of people and we realise they are ‘not our people!’ (‘Who are YOUR People” is a forthcoming article – the third in this series.)  Remember, as I said, your time is precious and each moment matters.  Every time we do something, or say something, we are creating lasting memories – we are creating our future!

While every experience in life cannot be positive – there must needs be opposition in all things – it means we appreciate life more, it doesn’t mean we have to complicate it more than it needs to be.  That means choosing your words, your time, and your company… wisely!

In order to be inspired we need inspiration around us – inspiring company, music, sights and sounds, words of encouragement, love and support.  As humans we thrive on these things.  It is an empty life that turns the pages of the book of negativity and continues to write chapter after chapter of misery!  You can’t plant a beautiful garden without healthy seeds, and so to, it applies to your life! Walk with the generous and genuine of heart and spirit, stand on the shoulders of giants, and see what you can see from there…once you glimpse the horizon you will want to touch it – just because you can’t doesn’t stop you wanting to – so believe that you can do more, see more, that you can be better… it is not wrong to want more for yourself.  We are created to have goals and dreams, ambition and to find our mission in life!  Part of it is having faith!

You don’t get in the car expecting to have a car accident, or assuming you won’t be successful in your journey!  Don’t think it of your life!  Drive your vehicle – your mind, heart and spirit, and live, as if you expect to win…. expect to arrive alive, intact and successful!  Remember to buckle up, and have fun!  Yes there will be bumps, difficult road signs like ‘Wrong way go back’, ‘Slippery slope’ or ‘No U-Turn’, sometimes you can’t right the wrongs; and yes, there will be mountains to climb and it will occasionally feel you you’re pushing sand uphill backwards, or negotiating a massive hill in a semitrailer with the breaks on, but you can do it and you will see the other side… and the view… will be amazing!

Who will be beside you when you get there?  Who are YOUR people?

Michelle Hayward- Director of The House of Vintner and associated press

http://thehouseofvintner.blogspot.com http://daisychainatthevine.blogspot.com

http://creationcottage.blogspot.com http://michellehayward.blogspot.com

Michelle Hayward is a mother of 9, with over 21 years experience as a parent and a Freelance Writer and Photographer who is about to release her debut novel ‘Falling. Michelle has certificates in Natural Therapies, Aromatherapy, Interior Decorating, and Diplomas in Make-Up Artistry; she is a Nursing & Childbirth Education student.

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Early nights, snuggled up under the doona, watching CSI, or whatever ever is on, I really don’t care, I have been escaping into a fantasy world!!

I have never felt so comfortable ever, usually I am happy to be alone, not worried about what I am wearing, if anything at all………….

Yep I know you are wondering, thinking I am Married with 4 Kids, well…what am I thinking???? LOL

Well….I have always hated Pj’s then late last year I discovered ‘MINE’ by Babyjo, these are the first P’j's that have not choked me, they are like a second skin, I don’t wake up like a sweaty old pig.

I am in LOVE!!

“MINE’ By BabyJo are Bamboo PJ’s made for Mums, they are comfortable, light and refreshing, look and feel great you could wear them all day, and nobody would ever know they are PJ’s.

Check them out and let your PJ LOVE affair begin with ‘MINE’ by BabyJO
Please Note * Kids in Australia has not gained monetry gains for this post, it has been written by  personal experience only*

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As a mum of almost ten… I’m not quite there yet… (as at writing this article I have around two weeks to go until we meet our last baby… ) I have to be super organised!  This means really thinking about time management!

I don’t think I am strictly a rules person, or a routine kind of gal, but, up to a point I do have to think in terms of ‘what can I fit in today, and how on earth am I going to achieve it all?’

As a wife and mum, business owner and student, I wear many hats, some of them all at once! So, I’ve become a really good list maker. I have lists of lists, my favourite tool (besides my laptop) is pen and paper.  I have notebooks by the dozen, I am the Queen of stationery, and I rely on Microsoft Outlook reminders, as much as I do on my hand-held diary and iphone which live in my enormous handbag.  Which reminds me – that handbag is packed for all contingencies – from a change of weather to a change of make up… even down to some quick change in case I need it!

I never travel light, and I always try to plan ahead; not that it always works and I can’t always wiggle out of every bind.  But I do have a few little strategies up my sleeve that I work to, and I have done since day one.  I was an organised kid, so I guess ergo, I am an organised adult? Maybe!  One thing I do know is, since the day I brought my first baby home from the hospital (nearly 23 years ago…wow!), I always had his nappy bag packed and ready to go by the front door, supplies packed, leaving nothing to chance.  It was simple with one child.  Since adding more to my brood I’ve had to become even more of a strategist!  I try really hard to save myself time wherever I can, because I especially despise hunting for things.  Searching and wasting time is one of my biggest pet peeves!

So how can it be done?  Here are some things that I do to save my energy!

1. I prepare dinner in the morning.  Peeling vegetables and getting most things sorted before ‘cranky baby syndrome, or animal hour’ sets in, as it does late in the afternoon.
2. I plan outfits and make sure they are washed and dried in time for school, that special event, or coffee with the girls! (yes, I do still caught out on occasion though!)
3. I have folders for everything:

A display folder contains bills to be paid so I can see them at a glance!

Another display folder holds school notes that either need to be signed or events we need to remember that are coming up – school camps, excursions etc.

Manilla folders hold other items worthy of note and are clearly marked so I can action them without struggling to remember what’s what.

A portafile holds items that I still need but can be filed as they have been dealt with – such as bills paid, receipts, warrantees etc.

I also use A4 envelopes to keep similar items filed for either Tax purposes or medical notes, bank statements and the like. I use a poster marker to write the date period and the content on so everything is again easily accessible.

1. I keep every receipt for everything, just in case I need to return it or show proof of purchase for any other reason.  Photocopy receipts for big items such as printers, computers, or other electrical items, cameras or expensive equipment so that when they fade you still retain a copy!  This will save you so much agony if things need to be repaired or replaced.
2. Record all important phone numbers in a book (don’t just rely on your phone – when it breaks, it takes all of your data with it!)
3. Pack all items you need for the next day the night before and have them at the ready by your front door.
4. Buy stationery all year long and keep it in a safe place (where the kids can’t find it) so you can utilise it, or you can dole it out as they need it for school! This saves running to the shop at some ungodly hour or being at the mercy of the corner store.
5. Have a craft cupboard that contains things the kids might need during the year – wool, cardboard, paint, pens, paper, scissors, tape and so on.
6. Don’t repeat unnecessary information.  If you have to fill out four forms that say the virtually the same thing, fill out one, scan it in and then just change names and birthdates where necessary!

10.  Create notes on the computer that are generic such as absentee notes and then fill in the blanks (such as date/s and reason), hit print, and away you go!  Saves handwriting them and you can create funky letterhead to go with them!  (*I have a new product coming soon that will even negate the need to create these…)

Time management is such a personal thing.  The recipe that works for one woman or one family will not necessary mesh with another!  I try to break it down into the things I enjoy least or even into the things I enjoy most! … and I work from there.  I insist that the kids get ready for school the night before by doing what I do and having everything prepared, ready at their fingertips – library books to return, drinks made and in the freezer, uniforms handy, notes signed, and other incidentals such as money sorted.  When I’m preparing for a day at University I do the same thing.  My books, laptop, stationery and anything I might need is packed in the car the night before so that the morning rush doesn’t consume me, causing me to forget important notes or other items I will curse having left behind.

I consult my lists and I feel so much better when I can tick off the ‘To Do’ one, scrunch it up and throw it away – ready to begin again tomorrow.

Once the children are off to school I arm myself with coffee, my laptop and my phone and I get all of the calls out of the way first. Then I begin my day writing, marketing, researching, or whatever it has in store for me!  Sometimes I even take the phone off the hook so I can work in peace, without unnecessary banter!  Urgent calls can still reach me on the mobile though.  I also circumvent drama or incidental time-wasting by sending a quick memo or email to friends, family members or colleagues stating that I am unavailable during certain hours that day and I can be contacted after that time.  It gives everybody a heads up and clears the deck to get on with the important stuff without a million interruptions I can’t afford.

When I really need peace… I head to the library!  Nobody joins me there! And…I’m not tempted to put on the washing or just stop to wipe down that kitchen bench – I get done what I intended to do – this is a strategy I use when working to tight deadlines such as writing an article or doing an assignment.  I can’t afford to be detained or derailed, so I remove as many distractions as I possibly can.

Remember with time management it’s important to schedule in ‘you’ time!  Make that hair appointment, organise a trip to the beauty salon for a facial, make a date with the girls for coffee or a movie, or even book a weekend away, completely away, sans laptop and phone! (if you can!) Send that memo and state you will not be contactable for 48 hours except in a dire emergency.  Then… head for the beach or the vineyards!

Remember to read a good book every once in awhile!  Join a dance class, enrol in pottery classes, take a walk and don’t feel guilty for doing it!  Time management means getting a say in what you plan – not being ruled by it – working with it.  There should always be a measure of good fun thrown in, otherwise you’ll feel like a workhorse! Nobody wants to be put out to pasture before their time!  There’s a whole world out there to explore and you can’t do it from your kitchen sink or your laptop.  Some things are only worth seeing, and doing, in the flesh!  Not only will it relieve your stress levels, but it will inspire you to do more when you return to your craft, or your home!

Rejuvenation is a key element in time management skills… without that, you’re just treading water waiting for the sun to come up to do it all again tomorrow.  Don’t let the sun set without thinking ‘I achieved something today, or I feel good today.’ It doesn’t have to be climbing mountains.  Find joy in simplicity – that you talked to your sister, or a good friend, that you found something you’d been looking for, or that you made two out of the six calls you’d planned to make.  Be grateful for small mercies… look at what you have done, rather than what you haven’t!  It makes the world seem less mountainous! And always look at tomorrow as a clean slate to try again if you really do feel like you failed or you just couldn’t complete each task! Always measure you by your own best self, not anyone else! They’re probably doing it just as tough, you just can’t see it!  We can never compare houses!  The grass may look greener over there, but I assure you, it’s just as hard to cut.

Be kind to yourself.  Don’t make your time management stringent, unbendable or unsustainable.  You’re only human!  Be careful who you share your dreams with and don’t let other people rob you of your precious time and energy!  Negatives bleed you dry!  Stay close to those who build you up, support you and believe in you!  If you come away feeling empty, less than, or flat, don’t go there again!  Count your time as gold coins, or sands flowing through an hour glass – there’s only so much to give away!  Give it where it is valued! That way, more days will come where you feel that you sailed, instead of sank…regardless of how much you achieved!

Believe in your own methods and strategies! Work towards your goals and have an umbrella handy when those who would rain on your parade appear…stand steady, and know that you’re on the right path – because it’s your path!  You created it, it’s your journey and it’s alive with endless possibilities expanding in front of you!

Remember, you have all of the time in the world – it’s up to you now as to how you use it!

….will you give your time away? Or will you gift it away?  …  Part 2 of Time Management Strategies –  “Dealing with time wasters and dream stealers!” Coming soon!

Michelle Hayward

Director of The House of Vintner

http://thehouseofvintner.blogspot.com

http://daisychainatthevine.blogspot.com and associated press

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